My February Journal Spread + Graveyard Shift

You know how you are all set and excited to start anew but January already passed by and well, it’s life. 😂 But let me share to you one of my favorite quotes from The Sun and Her Flowers:

“You do not just wake up and become the butterfly”
-Growth is a process.”

Let us remind ourselves that we are, in fact, growing. Let us be gentle with ourselves. As for me, I’ve been really trying to do what makes me happy so I don’t lose myself. Journaling is just well, one of the many. You may not be into this but I hope you will still read on and have a chat with me 😊

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The Sunday Currently Vol. 3 | Life & Links

The 1st month of the year is almost over and I just thought I’d do a quick life (?) update. ㅎㅎㅎ

I’ve been really sick the past two weeks since I quit my job. I’m getting enough rest but my body clock is just so messed up right now. I sleep at six in the morning. I’m just really up all night. I can’t write or stay online either because too much radiation makes me dizzy now. Lol These eyes, I swear. The good thing is I can read physical books! Hooray!

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Tonight, I Tried to Let You Go

2018년 01월 16일

It’s the first time in years that I heard someone looked out (or asked) for a sign. I stopped doing that myself. I believe in choices now more than anything. But, was it your sign? Was it meant to happen? It was, right? Other people’s choices and decisions can be anyone’s fate. Ripple effect. It was a good fall of domino. I was grateful.

We almost gave up finding you the balloons. We tried yesterday but every store was either closed or they didn’t have the ones that fly. We need to reach the heavens. We want to reach you. Somehow. In any way.

When the lady said that they have balloons with helium, I wanted to cry. I’ve always wanted to fly one for you but I didn’t get the chance. Until tonight. I think I got the courage because I was with my soul sisters. You have no idea how much you have drawn us more into each other. You are the one who weave us even more—heart, mind, body and soul. You are our greatest vessel of hope.

We stopped by in an open field in Pampanga. It was so dark. Junice put the car in hazard. All three balloons got tangled at the back of the car. We struggled so much with it but that’s nothing compared to all the things you had been through. I think I heard a crying kitten somewhere. Its pain echoed in the darkness. I think it could feel what was about to happen.

As we try to untangle the strings, Mel fished out her mini notebook for us to write something for you. I took the first turn. I kept it short. I’ve written what I wrote before. I couldn’t think of anything else. I couldn’t think of more. Maybe that’s why I’m writing this now. I know I wanted to write more. Then, it was Mel’s turn. Then, Junice. She took the longest time. We didn’t tell each other about our parting words. Those words are only meant for you.

We were finally able to get a balloon for each. My hands are already shaking when I tried to tie the rolled paper to the string. The wind wasn’t helping. It was so strong. I was afraid I would accidentally lose grip of the string. I know I wanted to let go. But, not just yet. It still hurts so much. I just don’t want to be sad anymore. I want to be happy and be thankful that you are probably no longer hurting. That’s just what I want—for you to finally be able to free yourself from all the heartaches. You deserve nothing but peace.

We agreed to let go in the count of three.

1..

2..

3..

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KDrama Review | While You Were Sleeping

I’m curious of that one little detail I changed. Will that one little detail be able to prevent something horrible that’s going to happen?

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2018 and the Concept of Time

Change is real, but time is not. Time is only a reflection of change. From change, our brains construct a sense of time as if it were flowing.

—Julian Barbour

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2017 Really Tough, Really Sad But Not Quite Bad

2017년 12월 31일

7:07PM

I really don’t know what to say in this post. I remember how excited I was to begin 2017 and now it’s ending and I’m not really feeling it.

Then, I thought of why I’ve always preferred the New Year celebration more than Christmas. New Year has a new sense of hope to it. It’s so festive even though I really hate the noise (but obviously, it is not quite as loud as it used to be the previous years). I appreciate how everyone is having the time of their lives anywhere else in the world (or maybe not really).

But, just like any other year, it is the day that gives me so much nostalgia. I’m always in the middle of looking forward to better days ahead and going back to the good old days. But that’s also what I love most about New Year. It gives me the feeling of living in the past, the present and the future—all at the same time. It’s still 2017 here and I’m living in the now but in a couple of hours, in some countries, it will already be 2018 and I will be left behind in the past. In a couple more hours, it will be 2018 here and it will still be 2017 in other countries and that makes me ahead of time. What a concept, right? It is like a traffic light that will give you a moment to stop and live in the moment—while contemplating about the past and thinking about the future.

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