I’M LETTING YOU GO BUT PLEASE DO ME ONE LAST FAVOR

I didn’t see it coming.

At 21, I have all my life planned out. I thought I got everything figured out. Then, you entered the picture. There was just too much sadness in your eyes. I guess that was what made me so drawn in you. I got so obsessed in fixing you that I broke myself in the process. I depended so much in you that I didn’t notice I let my life revolved around you. You and only for you.

You were there when my parents separated. 22 years of marriage gone. Since then, you became my home. You are my home. You made everyday felt a little better and lighter. You made everything seemed easier. 22 months after, you were breaking up with me. I guess the number 22 doesn’t really like me. Well, I don’t like it either. You made me think that I could build a happy family despite having a broken one. Now, I’m not so sure anymore.

We all have everything planned out. Now, I am more lost than I’ve ever been. Maybe, this is how it feels like to have your heart broken at 23. Sure, I have a life before you and I can surely have another after you. But it just doesn’t feel right. Where will I live now when we already have planned where to have our own house? What will I call my future children now when we already named them after us? You stained my future. I feel like I will always be haunted by you because this kind of love stays like a birthmark.

I saw it coming.

With your shortened calls and cold messages, I know you are starting to slip away. It sucks because I couldn’t do anything about it.

I wanted to do everything to keep you but you just don’t want to be kept.

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TO THE GUY WHO NEVER LOVED ME RIGHT

I have stayed for so long because I couldn’t bear the fact of leaving you behind. After picking up your broken pieces, I couldn’t let you shatter again. I don’t want to see another tear to stream down your face and I don’t want to hear any more sob. You don’t know how much it hurts me to see you in pain. I don’t know what it is with you that I let myself walk in my own peril. There’s something in you that pulled me so close I don’t know how to stay away anymore.

And so I stayed. I stayed because you said you love me. I stayed because I love you a lot.

 

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