when society tells you to..

When society tells you to be yourself, they don’t mean it, right?
I mean, how can they when they still judge you, anyway?

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NEVER BREAK OTHER PEOPLE’S RELATIONSHIP

“Why can men cheat and we girls can’t? Men steal girls so why can’t we steal guys too?” a girl cried as if it weighs much importance. This is not about sexism anymore. No one has the right to cheat or steal—regardless of gender. That’s just pure evil.

You always get to choose. Some people even take other people as an option. Sad truth, right? So, you don’t tell me that you don’t have a choice. You do. We always do.

You do have a choice and you chose to enter the picture where you weren’t supposed to be in. Why?

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THIS IS HOW I’LL REMEMBER HIM

I entered the café and a sudden thought of him came flooding in as I breathe in the aroma of caffeine. He never liked coffee but he still accompanied me whenever I wanted to have a cup. He even let me switch our drinks whenever I felt like mine is too bitter and his is sweeter. That’s how I’ll remember him, a little mixture of both.

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TO THE GIRL WHO REPLACED ME, THIS IS WHY WE BROKE UP

Did he tell you?

We broke up because he no longer loves me like he did before.

Yes, he said that. Can you call it love if it fades? I know how it felt like. 6 years ago I broke up with someone because I wanted to focus on college. My excitement for a new chapter in my life got the best of me that I didn’t want to commit myself on anyone. That sounds so cliché but it’s true. This guy thought I had someone else. So, yes I know how it feels like to start to fall out of love. I totally get him. It’s possible but that doesn’t mean it’s inevitable. Love is a choice.

Also, he said he couldn’t give back everything I was giving him. As if he needed to. As if I demanded too much. I didn’t. All I wanted was his love and his time. Maybe I expected so  much from him when all I really wanted was to spend time with him. He felt like home. I was so comfortable with him. Do you know how much warmth he can give when he wraps his arms around you? I think he thought his effort didn’t mean a thing to me. I’m not sure. I’m not sure of anything now. But I let him go. You know why? Because I love him and he promised to come back. I hope he told you that. He promised me he’d come back. He just wanted to fix himself, to be better. It made me sad that he couldn’t get himself better while being with me. But I let him go because I know how it feels like to feel lost. I know how it feels like to have your ego be bigger than yourself. I made up a lot of things on my mind just to understand him. I tried so hard to understand him.

He promised he’d be back so I waited. I hoped and I waited but that day never came.

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I’M LETTING YOU GO BUT PLEASE DO ME ONE LAST FAVOR

I didn’t see it coming.

At 21, I have all my life planned out. I thought I got everything figured out. Then, you entered the picture. There was just too much sadness in your eyes. I guess that was what made me so drawn in you. I got so obsessed in fixing you that I broke myself in the process. I depended so much in you that I didn’t notice I let my life revolved around you. You and only for you.

You were there when my parents separated. 22 years of marriage gone. Since then, you became my home. You are my home. You made everyday felt a little better and lighter. You made everything seemed easier. 22 months after, you were breaking up with me. I guess the number 22 doesn’t really like me. Well, I don’t like it either. You made me think that I could build a happy family despite having a broken one. Now, I’m not so sure anymore.

We all have everything planned out. Now, I am more lost than I’ve ever been. Maybe, this is how it feels like to have your heart broken at 23. Sure, I have a life before you and I can surely have another after you. But it just doesn’t feel right. Where will I live now when we already have planned where to have our own house? What will I call my future children now when we already named them after us? You stained my future. I feel like I will always be haunted by you because this kind of love stays like a birthmark.

I saw it coming.

With your shortened calls and cold messages, I know you are starting to slip away. It sucks because I couldn’t do anything about it.

I wanted to do everything to keep you but you just don’t want to be kept.

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PEOPLE LIED, LOVE DOESN’T CONQUER ALL

I just found out that my friend and her boyfriend for 8 years broke up after a month of being engaged. Now, I am the one crying. It makes me so dejected to see a relationship fail. I am in a very complicated situation myself so this knowledge adds up to my sorrow. And when my parents separated last year, I kind of lose my faith in Love. I know I have to restore it at some point but just.. not now.

8 years. How do you move on from that? You’ve been together most of your lives–through thick and thin–then poof (!!!!!) it’s gone. How do you forget someone who gave you so much to remember? Some say it’s not about how long you’ve been together, it’s the time you’ve spent together. Well, 8 YEARS. That’s saying SO MUCH.

My friend said that it is really hard but she’s coping. It’s been 3 months after all.

It broke my heart even more when she said “Ako na sana unang ikakasal sa barkada” (I was supposed to be the first to get married in our group) LIKE DUDE! WHERE YOU AT, LOVE?! WHY AREN’T YOU ENOUGH?! People lied, love doesn’t conquer all.

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TO THE GUY WHO NEVER LOVED ME RIGHT

I have stayed for so long because I couldn’t bear the fact of leaving you behind. After picking up your broken pieces, I couldn’t let you shatter again. I don’t want to see another tear to stream down your face and I don’t want to hear any more sob. You don’t know how much it hurts me to see you in pain. I don’t know what it is with you that I let myself walk in my own peril. There’s something in you that pulled me so close I don’t know how to stay away anymore.

And so I stayed. I stayed because you said you love me. I stayed because I love you a lot.

 

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