I'd like to believe that I see you in all the bright places. I do. But, I also see you in all the dark corners—shining brightly; telling me it's all going to be okay; urging me to keep going. I am so grateful for that presence you left in my heart. It is heavy but it was better than the void. I am so grateful for the rain. It was raining then, wasn't it? It was really cold.
Words bleed and heal. I lost my words when I lost him. Words broke me when it was supposed to help me keep myself together. That night, I failed to reach out to him. It still hurts. I am still bleeding. I don’t know if I will ever be okay again. But while I’m at it, maybe I can use each droplet of blood to get back the words I forgot I have in me. I wasn’t able to save him but maybe if I try harder, I can save someone. Maybe when I let myself bleed words, I can finally heal. And maybe one day, my words will finally reach him, too.
It's been a month. You are the wound that will never heal. I don't want you to be a scar, anyway. I don't want you to be just a mark; a distant memory of the past. So let me bleed forever. You should not worry, though. I will use each droplet of blood to write words—phrases that hopefully will shed light to the ones who badly need it right now. You give me strength to keep going. Thank you, Jjong. I hope this reach you. I love you so much. You did so well. I hope you are happy now wherever you are. Please shine brighter. I will always look for you in the ocean of stars. Be the brightest.