BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH

I want to write him a poem. I really do. But my words won’t give justice to what I’m feeling right now.

I think that’s the thing about love or when you really like someone. It gives you butterflies in your stomach and fills up your lungs ‘til you can no longer breathe. This too much feels can suffocate—in a good way. These butterflies consume your whole body ‘til it becomes a Butterfly Garden. These butterflies invade your brain that you can no longer think straight.

A butterfly can symbolize love itself. It has mystery in its beauty. A butterfly flies and people turn to stare because our attention is always captured by pretty things. And I believe that love is a pretty thing.

A butterfly floats and gives hue to the world. Love should be like that too. It should glide across the globe with bursting colors.

Beautiful and graceful, varied and enchanting, small but approachable, butterflies lead you to the sunny side of life.  And everyone deserves a little sunshine.

– Jeffrey Glassberg

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A LETTER TO THE FUTURE

Dear 27-year-old me,

How are you doing? It’s been 6 years, I hope you are where you want to be right now. I hope you’ve been to places you have either known through books or surfed online yet fell in love with them instantly. Are those places as beautiful as you imagined it would be? Maybe you are somewhere far away from here now but I hope the sky will remind you of the good old days, of the people you had the privilege to be with, of places that made you feel safe. I hope that things have changed for the better but don’t you dare forget the other things that have made you. You are who you are today because of every single bits and pieces of the past–both rad and bad.

I can see you looking through the beach right now, a book in your lap and good music blasting off your headphone. Is that Goo Goo Dolls’ I’m Still Here? Gaaaah! That song is forever gold! Just like the other bands/artists you have always loved your whole teenage years. Those were the days.

Oh, you have Italian spag beside you! I’m glad you no longer avoid bad carbs just because it scares the hell out of you to gain more weight. I hope you are comfortable with your skin now. I hope you have gained confidence already. Insecurity will always be there, lurking around the corner but keep in mind that everything has its beauty. ‘Drop everything you have that gets you down’.

And I remember how you always dreamed of watching the sunset with someone who loves you as much as you love him. I hope you are with that someone you have waited for what it seems like forever. I told you, it’s not about your looks or your figure. A soul fall in love with a soul. Remember the Snow Globe of Euphoria? I hope for your eternal bliss with that man.

But most importantly, I hope you are happy. You deserve whatever you have right now. And wherever you are, I hope it makes you feel like home.

From the girl who thought she would never get comfy in skirts and dresses but wears one most of the time now,

Your 21-year-old self

P.S – It’s scary that things keeps changing. But that doesn’t mean you need to change yourself completely. There’ll always be a part of you that’ll get old but hey, it’s nice to somehow be brand new, right? Continue to grow and explore. The world has so many things to offer. You just need to know where to go. Though, being lost is part of it all, you’ll always find the place where you belong. x

And I want a moment to be real
Want to touch things I don’t feel
Want to hold on and feel I belong
And how can they say I’ll never change?
They’re the ones that stay the same
I’m the one now
‘Cause I’m still here

— I’m Still Here, Goo Goo Dolls

MAYBE WE FOUND LOVE RIGHT WHERE WE ARE

October 24, 2014

It was a typical night, me lining up for public transpo to go home. It’s been almost 2 weeks since my first encounter with “Ed Sheeran Guy” (The one I have posted about on my previous post)

A few weeks ago, there’s this guy from my town whom I have met while in the queue. His name is Eric. He’s like a big brother to me. When he gets in the line first, he saves a spot for me. Last October 24, **** got there before me. We were having a little chat when he suddenly whispered shout to someone in our front (like with distance of 3 people), he was pointing at me: “Taga sa ‘tin ‘to! Laging late pumila. Pag nakita mo, hilahin mo.” Kuya Eric laughed like it was a good joke while I was left dumbfounded. The guy he was talking to was “Ed Sheeran Guy”. Mind fuck. All I was thinking was: “SMALL WORLD”. I don’t go out that much so I really don’t know who is who in our neighborhood. I’m an outcast like that.

“YOU KNOW HIM?” I asked in the most composed voice I can master.

Turned out that they are relatives. MIND FUCK. AND WE LIVE ON THE SAME STREET.

The whole ride home was a blur for me. I DON’T KNOW. REALLY. All I know is that ***** introduced us as we entered the van. Found out his name is ****. Cute. Heh.

When we are walking down our street, Kuya Eric already reached his house, Dimple and I had a little talk. Yadda yadda yadda. When he reached his house, he told (or asked, I’m not really sure): “Nakasabay na kita dati” And I was like “Yeah. Ikaw yung nakikinig kay Ed Sheeran.” And we sort of laughed ’cause it’s just I DON’T KNOW. He said he lost his phone which kinda sad but yeah.

I hope we can be friends because Ed :——-)

Maybe we found love right where we are..

– Ed Sheeran

THIS

October 11, 2014

I lined up for a public transpo, as I do every night when I go home from work. I was sat at the back seat of the Adventure. My earphone was ready for an hour drive and as I was about to put it on, I heard Photograph by Ed Sheeran blasting off someone else’s earphone–it was from a guy sitting beside me. My inner fangirl freaked out. I am a HUGE fan of Ginger Idol. I just bought my ticket for his concert here in Manila last October 9th. I wanted to talk to “Ed Sheeran Guy” as I named him, to ask him if he’s a fan, if he’s going to concert and all those stuff. I know for others, it’s like I’m overreacting. BUT HE IS NOT THE TYPE OF GUY WHO WILL LISTEN TO ED. Looks can really really be deceiving. I was too shy and awkward when it comes to approaching people, so I just dropped it. We were half way through the ride to our town when I heard Thinking Out Loud from his earphone, still I didn’t have the guts.

It was time to drop off, I was the last one to go out of the car as I was seating at the corner–therefore, I should be the one to close the backseat’s door. But when I went out, Ed Sheeran Guy was waiting there. He was the one who closed the door for me. Plus point.

Since then, I was looking forward to see him again. Given that we live in the same town. But days have passed, no such luck. Yet..

This is the start of something new.

– Ed Sheeran

TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE

If everyone will just read Tuesday’s With Morrie, and will actually take the lessons from it and live with it, the world will be a better place.

Only an open heart will allow you to float equally between everyone.

— Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom