Another take I have here as to why it is discomforting is the fact that the whole music video is the human psyche. These shadows are our own darkest thoughts that cage us; that make us feel suffocated; that hold us down. And maybe, just maybe, these phones are our own mind trying to capture every single detail that we do or think, so later on, we can rewind what has happened. It is when the overthinking comes in. We overthink every word said or left hanging; every body language that might not even mean anything. We are our own worst critic. SUGA did not just let us in inside his own mind; he also led us to our own.
How about you? How do you express yourself?
Do you ever ask yourself who you really are? It is the exact reason why I love the Jungian concept. It shows how we are layers and layers and layers and layers of different personalities. It is not like a part of you is fake; it just suggests that we are all capable of change and growth.
You know how you are so used to having episodes and you’re tired of it, but you know it will pass, anyway? So, you cry; you weep; you catch your breath. You sleep in a tear-stained pillow without knowing why and the next thing you know, it has passed. It is morning again.
I love how in the music video, the rain shatters that stillness of blackness because even the ones who seem so composed and do not feel have their own emotions.
Self love is finding and feeling at home with yourself - not somewhere else. Self love is about accepting the fact that you can't make home out of people. I hope we all find our way home
Hixtape tells us to hope, to dream, to make those dreams into reality, to look back to the past and celebrate life, to make a difference and extend help.
Words bleed and heal. I lost my words when I lost him. Words broke me when it was supposed to help me keep myself together. That night, I failed to reach out to him. It still hurts. I am still bleeding. I don’t know if I will ever be okay again. But while I’m at it, maybe I can use each droplet of blood to get back the words I forgot I have in me. I wasn’t able to save him but maybe if I try harder, I can save someone. Maybe when I let myself bleed words, I can finally heal. And maybe one day, my words will finally reach him, too.