I always wonder how I started to become a fan. I am a fan of a lot of things; it is just part of who I am. Thinking back, it all probably started in sports even before I become all avid with different music fandoms.
My father loves watching basketball in particular. I am introduced to it at a young age. I remember us watching even the local games in our town, you know those inter-barangay games? Sometimes, there would be riot when the game got so intense. I remember that one game in our town’s plaza when my father held me and my brother tight as we ran up towards the highest seat because it really started to become violent on the court. I am laughing at the thought now! It was fun, and hell scary when you are actually there.
We also watched a lot on TV, both PBA and NBA.
I am not really a fan of Kobe (it was Celtics for me, Rajon Rondo especially. One of our neighbors used to call me Mrs. Rondo!), maybe because I grew up always hearing my father gushed about Lebron James. Sometimes, I find it funny when people actually bicker and banter because of these two legends. I joined them too just to spite others. Now, I can’t believe we lost Kobe today. Heck, we really fucking lost him today – with his daughter!
I still remember how everyone on Twitter used the video of him and Gianna just recently and captioning it funnily. Now, I want to bawl my eyes out just watching it.
I really can’t believe we lost him today.
I know I have lots of things to be worrying about, and it’s Monday! It’s work week again, but heck, I can’t help but feel sad.
Today as well, there will be Grammy Awards at the Staples Centre. I want to watch and support it because BTS is going to be there. But the thought just doesn’t sit well with me. I really wish they will just cancel it. A friend affirmed what I already know, that of course, they won’t. Of course, it’s business. It makes me even more sick.
Being a fan, I know you would want to mourn and be there. It has been his home for the past 20 years. Of course, you would want to be there. So please be there if you can. Fuck that show.
And yes, I know they won’t, but I hope I can also be consoled by “I hope they will.”
I’m sad. I really am sad.
I know you must be too right now.
I hope you stay hydrated, though.
As people say, the world doesn’t stop for those who are grieving.
It is fucking sickening.
Please allow yourself to stop regardless how the world revolves around you. You don’t have to move like everyone else does.
I am not just sad now. I am also really mad; that’s why I am writing this down, without proofreading or even a featured image. I just have to write.
Anyway, I hope you have a day today. It doesn’t have to be good or great; just… have a day. Don’t forget to tell your loved ones that you love them!
So long, Black Mamba. <33