*note – I wrote this last June and my emotion was all over the place. The words are still true, though, I just feel a little indifferent now.
For the first time in awhile, I don’t want to wake up.
This was the first thing I’ve written on my journal today. There were days when waking up was tough but you gathered your strength, anyway. Today, I didn’t even have the will.
Then, Mel messaged saying that the Mental Health Law has passed. I was happy I started crying. For the first time in awhile, they were happy tears.
It means the world to everyone of us suffering. Really. It means the world. It is that thin streak of sun rays passing through your window despite the heavy curtains that are blocking everything from coming in.
Thank you. Thank you for those who care enough.
We can’t change the world but we can make a difference.
We can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. It is true, we can’t save everyone but if we can help a person to want to save himself, let’s do it. Let’s help each other get through it.
I was so positive about it, but it all crumbled down when I saw some comments in social media regarding the matter.
Some people really took the time and effort to say nasty things (am I still even surprised?) like thanking Riza Hontiveros kasi: “makakapagpagamot na kayo ni Pinoy at Leni.” Or other comments like:
- Ikaw lang may mental disorder at hinahawaan mo ang mga sambayanang Pilipino sa kasakiman mo!
- Tama! Ang mga trolls ni tatay digs muna.
- Riza will be the first to enjoy this Bill!!!
- Ay salamat, may ma kakapitan ng batas ang may mga deperensya sa utak gaya ni hontiveros.
Everything ends up political, right? I don’t give a flying butterfly which administration’s ass you are kissing, to be honest.
I was really happy when I found out about this law. Like, finally, the ‘woke culture’ is getting into something relevant, but I realized this may not work.
The comments are full of ignorant shizz who think it is funny. Is it funny to you? Depression and other mental disorders are not funny. Do you know what it is like to find comfort in the dark instead of reaching out for some light? I am suddenly ashamed to be a Filipino. Again. For the nth time.
Then, when you react this way, some people will be like “masyadong butthurt.” Really? Kayo lang pwede may opinyon?
It won’t work in the hands of the government alone. It needs the help of the society. It needs our help – every. single. one. of. us.
‘Yung ‘sakit sa utak’ is not something you want for others to experience just so they can ‘understand’ it.
You would not want it inside your brain, trust me.
I called 2919. They answered. I heard so much about how fvckd up our Suicide Hotline is, but let us give it another chance. Let us not give up on hope.
Suicide Hotline PH 804-4673 (HOPE) 0917-558-4673 (HOPE) 2919 *TM&GLOBE Manila Lifeline Centre: 0917-854-9191
I would not stop writing about mental health because I would not stop fighting, either. We set up a With Hope Project last December and here, people can talk to us. We are not professionals, but we are here to listen – always. Reach out ~
「DISCLAIMER: featured image; caption from Virginia Woolf」