Change is real, but time is not. Time is only a reflection of change. From change, our brains construct a sense of time as if it were flowing.
A new year means we are now back to counting down the days until 365. It’s a cycle. A year measured from months to weeks; weeks to days; days to hours; hours to minutes; minutes to seconds. Time. What a concept, right? I used to hate it. No, actually I hated it
until last year until early this year.
I hated it because time has become the standard of so many things. When you should get married; when you should finish school and have a job; when you should have build family of your own; when you should accomplish this and that as if it’s a competition against your peers, your juniors, your seniors, the world and mostly, yourself. If you don’t achieve those standards in that certain period of time, you will be bombarded with questions you don’t want to deal with. It shouldn’t be like that.
Time is not something that should make us feel left behind or as if we’re going too fast. Time, as it measured, should be just nothing but a reminder that we live with different clocks. Clocks that are just aligned but never really exactly the same. The second hand of the clock is the only one that ticks every second but that doesn’t mean that the minute and hour hands remain stuck. They all move. They all progress. They overlap each other. They sometimes meet—in their own perfect timing.
So, I’m changing my perspective towards time.
After all the noise in New Year’s Eve, I found myself still awake the next day until around 6am. I thought then, “wow, 6hours have already passed”. Just like that. Just me scrolling through Twitter, thinking about the year that just ended and anticipating the year that just started.
I’ve always been amazed by the fact that sunrise means morning and sunset means evening. Like, wow. How wonderful it is to identify time through the sky?
I’ve been reading a lot about the Universe lately,
(watch me turn into a physicist and mathematician) and I was blown away that the Moon was first used by the civilization to make the calendars. Unless, you already know that, then I’m dumb. But, the Sun was later on used to give way to the solstices and equinoxes. Aww. Time-lapse makes even more sense now. It’s not just pure aesthetic.
Space-time. That is how I arrived in the quote above. I used to believe that time is an illusion. I don’t even know why? I used to say that “we live to die, anyway.” We kill time. Literally. I cringe at the thought now.
Time is only a reflection of change. Passage of time. It won’t really hit you until you see it in front of you.
You were once a child that grew up now to an adult. Though, we all know that the kid inside never goes away.
You see it as the seasons change. Though, a tree remains a tree—still changed somehow.
Just like us. We are not completely different nor completely the same. Time is such a concept, right? We are not comfortable with changes that much as it reminds us of the things that has been, things that should be, things that could be or things that could never be. It is hard to love time. But ~
Time, just like any other things, will be what it is depends on how you perceive it. This year, I will see time not as a deadline. I will stop thinking too much about how it passes so quickly without me realizing it. I won’t look at it as if I’m being chased by it. Why should I either run away from it or run after it if I can walk with it? I will make my own time.
Time is a progress. As it flows, I should move forward with it—in steady rhythm; with a gracefully beating heart and hopeful soul.
First post in 2018! It took me a week. It has been a crazy first week of the year and I’ve already been tested. I’ve been working on this post since the first day but I felt like what I was writing isn’t genuine. I only write to my heart’s content. Now, I made up my mind. For real. This year, I want to make time.
I will make time for others. I talk to people, sure. I’m always there if you message me. Online. I’ve been spending so much time on Twitter that I forgot to make time for the real people who have been with me growing up—kindergarten to college. I want to catch up more with people who have been there for me in whatever circumstances. I am not in the best scenario right now but I’ve seen those who are always willing to help. I appreciate them so much. I will make time for both my IRL and internet friends.
I will make time for myself. Being alone or preferring to be just by yourself doesn’t necessarily mean that you are giving yourself time. Solitude has always been one of my best companions but I don’t really take care of myself. There are days that I’m too depressed to even take the shower or eat a proper meal (that, or I overeat). There are times that I ingest more coffee than I do with water. There are nights where I can’t sleep or nights that my body shuts down on its own that I overslept. I am just always adrift. It’s always too much or not enough. But, I’m getting better. The worst season is over. Though, I’ve always loved winter (I just call Ber months as that because of “winter blues”), I’m glad my mood is getting brighter. I will make time for myself.
That means making time for this blog, too. More. I’ve been out of it lately. I want to keep doing what I love. I won’t let this sadness inside me take away everything that is dear to me. I will make time to weep and break down but I will also make time to get myself up and be here. I will write.
That also means making time for books. I’ve always been the happiest when I read. Maybe I need to pick up the books where I left off to get myself back. I will read.
That also means leaving my job. The job I’ve been in for almost 4 years. I’m sad but I couldn’t be more free. I feel free. I feel renewed. I’m anxious for my next step but I’m taking it anyway. I will move forward.
Time. I will focus on it more and be punctual—in my own tempo. I will set goals and actually tick it off my list. I can do it. I will do it.
I can’t wait to spend another year with y’all. I hope you don’t get tired of my crafts and crap. My wordplay is improving. LOL!
Let’s all make this year good that we can finally say on the last day: “I made it good. I did well.”
Let’s all do well. It doesn’t always have to be great.
*EDIT: I just realized that this is dated January 2nd even though I posted it on the 7th. Then, it hit me that when you draft it, it will publish on that same day? Dem. Hahaha!