I just finished watching I Give My First Love To You, a Japanese drama way back in 2009. There’s really something with JPN that connects with me. Perhaps because I grew up watching animés. Filipino 90s kids will probably relate. Where you at??

Before I started watching, I was about to make a review of it. The thing is, there’s this scene that made my brain gone haywire and I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. I just know that I have to write this down.

“What it means to live?”

If you know the answer, I just want to ask how?

Is it as shallow as waking up everyday, going to school or work, feeding yourself, providing for your family, reading books, watching movies, going to sleep? Is it as deep as climbing the mountains and feeling the Earth beneath your feet or diving into the ocean, braving the waves of the unknown? Is it as scary as a roller coaster ride that makes you suck for oxygen and pray for all your sins? Is it finding happiness? How to live to the fullest? Is that really what life is all about?

What it means to live. It’s like being asked about the definition of life. I don’t think I can ever define it. If you ask me what first comes to mind when I hear the word “poetry”, I can tell you in a heartbeat that it’s “rain”. My childhood days, I enjoyed watching the rain more than getting soaked by it. I like how it both looks so pretty yet chaotic at the same time—just like words in verses. If you ask me what first comes to mind when I hear the word “home”, I’d say “the fields”. I live in the outskirts of Manila. Maybe you can consider me as a country girl. I love the place especially when it rains. I am obsessed on how it brings petrichor. I’m having too much nostalgia just thinking of it.

But, to live, I don’t think I can classify it as a whole. If I trap it inside a word, it would be like saying The Universe without including the stars. It’s a cluster of things. It’s both the good and bad memories. It’s kind of a collection of this and that. I used to say that life is one big labyrinth. I just realized how pessimistic that sounds. It’s like confining myself within these walls. What if instead of finding the exit, we find our way through? What if instead of finding the answer, we look for the meaning?

and that has made all the difference. —ROBERT FROST

This is just me contemplating about life. I’d love to know your thoughts, too!

Also, I uploaded the ending song for 僕の初恋をキミに捧ぐ. You may turn the audio on while reading. 😊



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