It was last Thursday night when I went home late than usual. I had to meet up with a client to present a financial quote to him. He still wanted some changes so I wasn’t able to close that deal yet. I felt dejected (not sure if it’s because of that or because it’s late and it’s raining). It always rains when I get off to work which is frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, I love the rain so much. I just wish it will let me be home safe and sound first before it pours. I have like on and off cough and colds and fever for the past month because I always get drenched. It’s always windy in Ortigas so you can imagine the chills.
July 13th just made me really sick and tired.
I felt like I’m doing so much all at once but there seems to be not enough time.
Aside from being a corporate slave by day, I do financial consultancy in between. Yes, I got two jobs right there. That’s what makes blogging/writing harder. I love everything that I’m doing but I’m so bad in time management. Above all the things I do, writing always comes first but it takes so much of my time that I sometimes fail to do my other paper works. I’M JUST REALLY SO BAD AT IT. I’m the happiest when I write but that night, I thought to myself, I’m not going anywhere with it. I write and I write but I don’t know if I’m making any difference. I don’t know if people actually read my stuff. Of course, I know some friends and that’s what friends do—they support you. How about the others? I’m not really making an impact just as much as I want to. I told myself I’m going to give up writing for a while so I can focus on the finance field and my day job. Filling up this personal space is my passion, I don’t do it to earn/gain money. I need my degree to support my living. So, that’s that. I almost gave up writing. I have decided until I checked my Twitter.
This is my poem, Colors. Bea has previously sent me her artwork and I think it’s really sweet of her to give my words another touch of art. I told her I’m going to frame everything she does for me. I’m not even kidding. Isn’t she so talented?! That just boosted my mood like 💯! We exchanged tweets for a while and out of nowhere she made another calligraphy.
She claimed that her most favorite among all my poems is this, Coffee & You.
I posted that on Facebook because I really like showing off arts wherever, whenever. After a couple of gas and breaks on my way home, I got a message from Jae.
Really, Universe? Of all the nights, you chose to send these angels to me when I was more emotional?? I just kept on thinking, “was this a sign?”
“PLEASE KEEP DOING YOUR THING” echoes inside my head.
She also confessed that she made an artwork out of my poem, Coffee & You. I didn’t know how much that piece made that kind of impression on some.
i actually stopped doing calligraphy for months. i lost the spark but then when i read “coffee and you”, i was like “ah i need to make an artwork out of this”. —JAE
It’s like a wake up call. Were the stars telling me to keep my passion burning? I followed it, obviously. I’m following my heart. I just couldn’t thank Bea and Jae enough that night. I probably wouldn’t be writing this now if it wasn’t for them.
I don’t know if you get where I’m going from this story so here are the epiphanies that came across me that night that I wish to share with you all:
THE WORLD IS YOUR OWN MUSEUM
There will always be someone (even if that’s just one person) who will see and appreciate your work. You will never know how much it will change them. Let the world be your gallery, display what you can. Let the world have it for the taking. There will always be days when people will stumble upon your space and that will make all the difference. It will happen.
IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT WORK
Adulting is such a pain in the ass. You work and pay your own bills now. It’s really hard to manage funds. This doesn’t mean though that you will exhaust yourself 40 hours a week. You need to do things that will take your mind off office because it can really be toxic sometimes. Work is tiring, do something else that doesn’t involve it. Find your passion. Same goes with the students, your grades don’t define you. It just proves that you study your lessons and you review them before exams. Good grades make you a good student. Do something that will mold you as a good person, too.
DO NOT BE CAGED BY YOUR OWN CAPACITY
You can offer so much than what you give yourself credit for. You just really really really really have to work on it. Always think outside the box and make an actual move to get out of it.
DON’T GIVE UP ON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
It is granted that you can’t always have what you want. So, to know what you really want to do is something. Keep it. Do it. Don’t let anything else take it away from you. Don’t let time tell you that you don’t have enough of it because if you really love something, you will make time for it.
I think time management is really the key. We can’t do so much all at once, we can only do what our body can take. We don’t really have to lose something to gain anything. I’d rather not, tbh.
I really hope this helps.
Tomorrow (or technically today as it is midnight already), I’ll be in the Korean Product Festival! I’m so stoked! I’ll be blogging/vlogging with friends so I think it’s something we can all look forward to. Here’s to more blog posts and to not giving up writing. xx