So, this post is my reaction to Justine Patricia’s Youtube video. She talked about her anxiety and how she stopped posting everything or anything that comes to her mind because she feels like she is not ‘educated enough’ to talk about certain things like ‘feminism’, ‘presidential elections’ and whatnot. She’s so anxious of what other people might think of her opinions.
I shamefully admit that I, myself, used to depend my worth on the likes I get on my Facebook. The higher my picture gets; the better I feel—the prettier I think I am. Does that make me a narcissist? I don’t even know. It’s fucked up. I don’t even post that much selfies. Huh. It’s like one like is equal to approval in our looks and thoughts. It’s like we post something not because we want to talk about particular issues but for the likes and comments instead. Why do we even need affirmations from other people, anyways? Because we care. We always think of what others think of us. It’s okay because that means we are sensitive enough to consider other people’s feelings or emotions. But too much of anything is harmful. Subscriptions and follows don’t define you. You define yourself.
We are so busy trying to please other people that we are putting so much pressure on ourselves. It’s not healthy. But how do we stop? How do we stop if our society works this way? How do we stop if every picture we take should be Instagrammable instead of we, just wanting to freeze a precious moment we wish to look back on to in the future? How do we stop thinking this way if we think otherwise, people will consider us different or weird? And how do we stop if we don’t really know if we need to fit in, blend in or stand out? How do we stop if ‘we hate the society but we are the society’? How?
I remember last week I had a fight with my boyfriend because he doesn’t really like to broadcast our relationship online. We don’t. We barely share things, but I don’t know why he snapped that night I shared something on his wall (I RARELY DO). I ended up tweeting these:
Here’s the thing, with all these #relationshipgoals going on, it’s kind of a ‘thing’ to have one of those. I would be lying if I tell you that I don’t care. I do. It’s so sad that I do. You know that feeling when you like to get an assurance that he’s proud of you through the posts he make about you online, pictures of you he shares and when he doesn’t, you feel like he doesn’t want to show you off? How fucked up is that? How fucked up am I? Relationship is about two people not about two people and the whole fucking internet. We are setting irrelevant standards like ‘you are prettier when you have make up on’. Bitch, please. Some would rather sleep than spend hours watching make up tutorials. Some would rather spend money on books than thousands on cosmetics. And that is OKAY. We all have our preferences. Your standards are different from my standards. We are humans. We should be free to do whatever we want to do. But in this generation, it’s hard to have that kind of freedom because ‘we all have different opinions.’ Some use that phrase as if his opinion is the only thing that matters because ‘this is my opinion’ even it beats up someone’s self-esteem and beliefs. And that “I‘m entitled to my own opinion”–these are possibly the worst excuses to share your thoughts. Be sensitive enough. Be responsible with your words. Own up to your mistakes. You are not always right. Hell, no one is.
You don’t have to be a political analyst to have a say about politics (but a little research won’t hurt) You don’t have to be a make up guru to put up a video tutorial. You don’t have to support feminism before you can call out the misogynists. Do whatever you want to do. Do whatever makes you happy as long as you are not causing any harm. Stop thinking so much about the norms. These are man-made. Don’t let whatever system you think there is to eat you up.
Be kind to others and be gentle to yourself. At the end of the day, we are the only ones who can save humanity. We are the only ones who can change this fucked up systems in our society. You don’t have to live up with other people’s expectations. The only expectation that matters is your own. Do not fail yourself.You don’t have to go with the flow. You can swim against the current all you want.
Keep living a WANDERful life, wanderers!